12th July 2016
Goodnight, sleep tight etc. When I woke up, all hell had broken loose. Goodbye pasta and paella, hello bubble and squeak and jellied eels.
I’m writing this blog at 7.15am on July 5. I don’t normally bother to carbon date my musings but today I feel I must. In the current climate our world seems to change within the hour, let alone the day, week or month.
In the last eight or nine days poor old Chris Evans has left Top Gear and Roy Hodgson has left England (#shame). Almost as importantly we’ve voted to leave Europe, our Prime Minister has resigned, Boris has withdrawn his candidacy for the leadership of the Conservative Party and Nigel Farage has stepped down as leader of Ukip. Jeremy Corbyn, meanwhile, is hanging on despite losing the support of almost all of his MPs.
But while all this is going on, something we all know but don’t often speak about is taking shape: women are in charge! Women rule the world – and I, for one, am grateful.
While the boys huff and puff, stab and back-stab, plot and clot, leak and squeak, the girls have calmly taken control. Don’t believe me? Think about it. It looks like Mrs Clinton will be the next POTUS, Frau Merkel is in charge of Europe, and either Mrs May or Mrs Leadsom are looking likely to be our new PM. Elsewhere, Angela Eagle is being lined up for Labour, Nicola Sturgeon has Scotland, and Leanne Wood is getting hold of Wales. And of course the Queen is the Queen.
In fact the only bloke whose stock seems to have risen in the last few weeks is Chris Coleman (#comeonWales). Without any fuss and bluster, the ladies have firmly grasped the world by its ‘continents’ and taken over. Gone is the laddish behaviour and metaphorical ‘measurement’ (shoe size of course); we are about to enter the age of substance over smarm, and doesn’t the world need that right now?
On the back of Brexit I was going to bring back one of my most popular blog tools – name a song to fit the situation. I intended to start you all off with “Go your own way”, “Waterloo Sunset” and “Rule Britannia”. However, in light of the fact that the boys have been left in the shade, I think we should concentrate our minds on song titles which reflect the female dominance of our times: “Alright Now”, “Another Girl, Another Planet”, ‘Sisters are doin’ it for themselves’ and “Big Girls Don’t Cry”? Let me know if you can do better.
Finally, I received a wonderful reply to my little rant last month about annoying gastronomic terms. The aptly named Madame Cholet (no doubt another fierce, independent woman) tore me apart, stating that I’d simply got my petites culottes galloises in a twist! Well Madame Cholet, I may stand accused of not knowing a crème pat from a cow pat, but I do know that a fish finger is a fish finger and not a bâtonnet de poisson…..and so it seems does 52% of the British population!
And on that note I bid you adieu.