7th August 2016
David didn’t know it when he promised us “the Vote”
The Tories came to power and with Osborne he did gloat
Never did he sit there thinking “Christ what have I done?”
He simply thought that Farage was a proper current bun!
And so he did deliver, and asked us “in or out?”
Surely this fine nation won’t reject the sauerkraut?
My eyelids gently lapped to sleep as Dimbleby said “in”
But when I woke UK was “out”, the news anchors all grim
And what since then has happened to our merry little isle?
Are we sitting here quite pretty, or are we in denial?
The markets have gone crazy, the pound has hit the floor
Against the dollar worthless since we’ve shown Brussels the door
Everyone’s resigning, Cameron has stepped down
And blooming Nigel Farage has thrown away his crown
Roy Hodgson’s done a runner, of Gove we’ll hear no more
But Corbyn stays despite himself, Old Labour on the floor
And what of clumsy Boris? Backstabbed, mauled and gored
Once doomed, he’s now our Foreign Sec, the UK’s face abroad
Frau Merkel and old Junker must be thinking that we’re nuts
As BoJo tries to calm the seas having smashed them in the guts
And so we have a new PM, the stately Mrs May
Described by Ken as difficult, but sound in her own way
Comparisons to Thatcher and Mrs Merkel too
At least we’ve got a woman to skipper the new crew
And as for all these ladies, they’re everywhere you’ve seen
Sturgeon, Wood and Davidson, May and “Ma’am” our Queen
I wonder if old Donald with his candy-floss-like hair
Will topple Mrs Clinton, leaving sane folk in despair?
Just when the crazies seemed to end, Len Goodman stood down too!
So even Strictly’s leaderless, no paddle with canoe
When will this summer madness end and once again be sane?
Just talking about the weather and our holidays in Spain
That’s if the Spanish talk to us, or Italians or French
They need to know that for some of us, leaving Europe is a wrench
But Britain is an island punching well above its weight
The clue is in the title, it starts with “G” for “Great”
Our upper lips will stiffen, our resolve be fixed and firm
Tomorrow is another day, our future we’ll not burn
We are a global nation, our people are the best
But as for summer 2016, can we please just have a rest?